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I Should’ve Known The Deep Web Would Start Hitting Dating Apps

Everyone knows about The Deep Web murders. LiveKills. Shannon. We’ve all read the Creepypastas and NoSleeps. rhonnie14’s stories. I believed them then. And now I know they’re real.
At the time, I figured the Deep Web sickness had spread into most dating apps. Bumble, Tinder. But that still didn’t stop me. No, Melissa Ramsey was stubborn… And honestly, I was too horny to care.
I wasn’t pretty. Not in a conventional way. At nineteen, I was a skinny black girl. Big brown eyes hidden behind big glasses. My short straight hair and weird fashion sense did more to showcase a fivehead and scrawny body than my nicer qualities. With a bony ass and small tits, I had nothing to attract boys. Even being a freshman at a nice college like Georgia Southwwestern didn’t mean anything when I lived with the folks instead of on campus. They had a nice house out in the country, sure… but there wasn’t a single hot guy anywhere near us.
So yeah, I was quiet. I had no friends. Way too awkward to strike up a conversation in person… much less with any sexy guys. So I did what any girl or guy in that spot would do: I hit up the apps.
The only problem was Tinder, MeetMe, and Bumble were all strikeouts... and that was with me swiping right on every guy. Even my attempts at posting sexy pics on Gonewild got zero upvotes. I don’t know… Maybe I just didn’t have the face or body the boys wanted. At least not for the studs I wanted.
Of course, the only interest I got were from weirdos and unattractive dudes. Okay, maybe they were in my league but still… why couldn’t one of the hotties like me? Shit, I’d settle for a one night stand or SnapChat sext-a-thon at this point. I wouldn’t even mind the dick and ass pics if it was a fineass guy sending them. After all, Ladybonersgw could only get me so far...
But then came my brutal epiphany. And the truth hurts, let me tell you: the problem was me. Melissa. Not the sexy guys. I was the ugly one. The loser. The female creep.
So I decided to overhaul my image. Like a makeover you see in the movies.
No, I didn’t wear more make-up. I didn’t ditch the glasses. Didn’t stylize my hair or hit the gym. Instead, I made a fake Bumble profile.
I chose the name Tara Heisler. A blonde-haired, blue-eyed Instagram model became my new image. She had tan skin, big boobs. Tall. One of those Southern Belle coed types I’d spent over a decade being harassed by… and over a decade competing with. And now she was me. The perfect Catfish in this thirsty ocean.
The boys didn’t have a chance. I was slaying right and left. No longer did I have to settle for male versions of me. Gone were the awkward, weird types... In came the hotties.
Maybe my theater experience helped me with the texting and chat performances. Or maybe it was just the natural benefit of being a conventional beauty. Then again, that model’s plethora of sexy Instagram photos also helped me win some action.
I could make those hunks do anything. White guys, black guys, jocks, hot nerds, it didn’t matter. They bowed down to my pussy power. And the fucking pics and vids they’d send… Girllllll
My secret porn library grew bigger and better. There were the big dicks, the bubble butts, the gym shots, even guy-on-guy videos. Whatever “Tara” asked for, those boys sent. And they didn’t hesitate when doing it for me. Not when I was on that SnapChat stage playing their dream girl.
Okay so maybe I wasn’t gonna meet my future husband doing this. Not even my future friend with benefit or first serious boyfriend. But still this was a fun way to satisfy my own desperate thirst.
For once, I felt hot. Powerful. A social media queen. And playing the sexy THOT only allowed me to slip deeper into my own desires. These hotties responded to all my fantasies. Pegging, Devil’s Threesomes, watching two cuties fuck each other… All the sexy stuff Melissa was too scared to ask. And all the sexy stuff these prettyboys would never do for a girl like me. Only under the spell of an All-American hottie.
The tantalizing fun lasted through the first few days of winter break. The hot nudes and talks an amazing early Christmas present.
I stayed cautious, of course. Those Creepypastas and rhonnie14 stories still lingered in the back of my mind… when I wasn’t overcome with excitement, that is. The inner heat I felt warmed me from both the cold and unease. My anticipation only increased with each new fineass match and steamy pic.
This Tuesday night was more of the same. A few minutes past nine-thirty, and I was still holed up in my room. Sitting at my computer desk. Surrounded by Nicki Minaj and Tarantino posters. Not working on any scripts or monologues like I told mom…
My phone was blowing up with sizzling Snaps. I’d managed to talk a baseball player into doing both twerking and jerking videos…
Grinning, I lowered the phone and slid my hand down toward my pajama pants. Underneath the green fabric… I was bracing for the show. All thanks to Tara.
The bedroom door burst open. In a frenzy, I yanked my hand out and exited SnapChat. My dream delayed.
Mom leaned in the doorway. The sloppy pajamas covered her chubby frame. Straight hair dangled down her back. Mom’s small eyes stuck on me. “You okay, sweetie?” she said in a soft tone.
Like a panicking crook, I struggled to suppress the nerves. Breathing heavy, I checked my phone once more. Glad no big dick or baseball butt was grabbing mom’s nosy gaze.
“Uh, yeah,” I stammered. Folding my arms in the cold room, I faced her. “I’ll come down in a minute.”
Mom flashed me a warm smile. “Okay, we’re about to watch the movie.”
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” I said. “I just wanted to finish the strip, I mean script.” Cringing, my grip grew tighter on the phone. To my real entertainment.
Mama chucked. “Okay, we’ll be downstairs.” With that, she leaned back and shut the door.
Now I was back to my fantasy. Back to the boys.
A vibration further fueled my excitement.
I turned my hungry eyes toward the phone. Toward the new Bumble alert: You got a new match
Grinning, I veered straight to the app. And what a match it was…
Michael Barnes. 24 and in great shape. Well over six feet tall. A physique as flawless as his baby blues. His straight brown hair complemented a smooth, slender face. The type of hunk destined for Wall Street success or modeling agencies.
“Hello…” I said to myself. Immediately, I made the first move: Sup sexy
Thankfully, the wait wasn’t long. In seconds, Michael’s reply appeared: Hey cutie. Snap?
My exhilaration only increased. Score another one for Team Tara.
Our flirting continued on SnapChat for another ten minutes. He sent me a few face pics, a sexy gym shot. I responded with the best of Tara’s Instagram. Needless to say, I pushed Michael for more… like a repressed housewife eager for a peek at their neighborhood’s new hottie.
I was glad I wasn’t scaring him off. Michael was rather playful. His arsenal of emojis and sarcasm kept me entertained.
WHAT ARE U WEARING TARA? he typed out in all caps. Followed by a kissing emoji.
Wanting to escalate the sexting session, I deliberated. Then replied: Getting late so… you know, just a bra and thong ;)
I waited and waited for a response. In simultaneous dread and anticipation. Michael had seen my reply. In a painful taunt, his Goddamn Bitmoji kept popping up from time to time. But there wasn’t a word. Not even a is typing tease.
“What the fuck,” I muttered. “Come on, bitch.”
A few more minutes went by. Agonizing anxiety dominated me. The anguish hurt. Unlike me, Tara never lost a man. And she couldn’t lose this one… Not when Michael had enraptured my female gaze.
Bumble gave me another alert. Another new match. I guess there were more fish in this sleazy sea… But still. I couldn’t shake Michael. Right when things were about to get hot and heavy, he just dipped. Sure, Melissa was used to being ghosted by the hotter guys. But not Tara.
Determined, I sent another message: I’m dressed to kill, boo
Trembling, I took a deep breath. Felt even colder in the room.
And then Michael’s pending reply got me hot all over again. The internal excitement came roaring back.
Until I saw his message. A chilling unease extinguished my fire.
HAVE U EVER KILLED BEFORE TARA?? Michael asked. Again, his message was in all caps. The eerie question accentuated by a winking emoji.
I was too scared to talk. Too scared to even text.
Michael’s once-adorable Bitmoji flashed a sinister smile. The image now possessing the aura of a killer doll. Uncanny Valley in overdrive.
And then he started typing…
I stole a glance at the door. Not sure what to do. My aroused feelings replaced by fear.
Michael’s next message arrived: BECAUSE I HAVE
A hash vibration accompanied the next text: REMEMBER THAT STORY ABOUT PATRICK
He sent me a link. A NoSleep. I Just Saw A Girl I Matched With On Tinder Get Killed. rhonnie14’s popular Deep Web story.
Trapped in the chilling conversation, I struggled to turn away. I couldn’t.
Michael’s new message appeared: THAT WAS ME
His Bitmoji’s grin only grew wider. More deranged. The big blue eyes like daggers to my soul.
THAT WAS ME MELISSA read his next text.
A hollow horror spread across me. Numbness. The aftereffects of a most unsettling shock.
I didn’t even flinch when Michael sent another message: MELISSA RAMSEY
Shivering, I struggled to hold the phone. Tears fell down my face.
In quick succession, the final text arrived: 14 PRICE STREET
Michael’s Bitmoji vanished off my screen. Off into the night. And deep in my sickened gut, I knew right where he was going…
I leapt out of my seat and bolted for the door. In total panic. My night of pleasure turned to a night of horror. No longer was I confident Tara… I was back to helpless Melissa. The timid geek.
Clinging to my phone, I ripped open the door and rushed into the upstairs hallway. The lights were out. Every single one. And somehow, the house was colder…
Scanning the scene, I looked all around me. The other bedroom door was closed. A nearby shelf a towering shadow, the hanging picture frames nothing more than blank canvases in the dark. Downstairs, it was pitch black. I saw nothing. Heard nothing. The dim lamps from my room the only light close by...
“Mama!” I yelled.
I stood there in the freezing silence. Waiting for a soothing voice that never came.
The phone pulsated in my hand. Startled, I confronted SnapChat.
Michael had sent me another link. To a domain and extension I never heard of… but a site that sent chills down my spine. LiveKills.
Uneasy, I stared at the link.
Another message from Michael appeared: ENJOY TARA
I forced myself to mash it.
The video swallowed up my screen. The footage precise and pristine. And in a setting I was all too familiar with… our living room.
I’d caught the middle of a bloodbath. Redness was scattered everywhere, all across our exotic rugs. Over the large flatscreen
My father’s corpse was sprawled across the couch. Deep cuts in his head and throat. His face partially flayed. Mom’s screams a brutal soundtrack to the massacre.
The camera captured mama staggering into a corner. Blood soaked through her pajamas. Weeping, she held her hands out. Out toward a masked man I was certain was Michael… or at least the man I’d been talking to for the last half hour...
The killer stood tall. He wore dark clothes and an even darker ski mask. His long butcher knife coated in blood. The blade marking my mother for a most horrible death.
“No!” I yelled through the tears.
Then I saw it. Beneath the murders, comments piled up. On screen were users of all genders and races and ages. An excited audience. O hes got her now!! Kill dat bitch! I love this guy SO FUCKIN SICK!1 read their messages.
The comments kept piling in. Small boxes showed viewers watching on Skype. Their eyes and expressions hungry for blood.
Overcome by panic, I exited the video. Looked toward the stairs. “Mom!” I screamed out.
The eerie silence lingered. The sound of death.
Fighting through the emotions and terror, I called mom’s phone. A desperate attempt to reach her. To save her.
A buzz sliced through the silence. Behind me, a beam of light caught my eye.
I whirled around. A horrified scream escaped my lips.
Through my bedroom’s lights, I saw mama’s severed head a few feet away. The head positioned like a work of art on the shelf. Blood poured out the neck in a red river. Her long hair smeared across her face’s many slices. The glowing cell phone jammed straight in her shrieking mouth like a candle in a jack o’lantern.
Mom’s scared eyes stayed on me. Unblinking, haunting eyes.
“No!” I screamed. Breaking down in tears, I trembled in the hallway. My knees went wobbly, my arms quivering. I was a scared soldier come face-to-face with Death. All those Dark Web Creepypastas a reality in my own home.
My phone pulsated to life, drawing me back to SnapChat. Back to my parents’ killer.
A new Snap from Michael greeted me.
Even this frightened, I didn’t hesitate to play it. After all, I had nowhere to run. I couldn’t just block this creep… I had to confront him.
A pic of Michael stared back at me. Him in the ski mask. Standing on our staircase. His blue eyes shined through the darkness… Much like his sharp knife.
Blood red font spelled out his final message: UR NEXT TARA The crazy smiling emoji a ferocious finish to this terrifying threat.
The other bedroom door slammed open. And there came my stud charging at me.
Moving quick, Michael raised the butcher knife. Blood dripped off its edge. A huge laptop clasped in Michael’s other gloved hand. Its camera ready to capture my close-up.
“Aw, fuck!” I yelled.
I jumped back in my room. Images of my slaughtered parents flashed through my mind. Dad’s filleted face. Mom’s severed head. The visceral fear forever resting in her dead eyes...
In the frigid hallway, I gripped my cell phone tighter. Anger boiled up inside.
Michael drew the knife back. Ready for the kill.
A fury conquered me. Call it fight or flight. Girl power. Whatever the fuck you want… All I know was I was still scared and in tears when I hurled that phone at the son-of-a-bitch.
The fastball smashed him right in the face.
Crying out, Michael fell into the shelf before hitting the ground. He dropped the blade. The laptop.
Creaking through the night, the shelf toppled over, pinning him to the ground. Mom’s head laid right beside Michael. Her gaze stuck taunting his squirming body. His arms flailed about, splashing through the blood.
I then made my move. Grabbed the butcher knife and confronted the killer.
Michael held up his hands. A futile effort to stop this bitch.
My rage won. With a rebel yell, I plunged the blade into his throat.
Blood splurted over me like war paint. I pushed my hair to the side. Behind bitter eyes, I watched Michael’s arms collapse. Watched blood build up beneath him. Watched his body go still.
Lodged in his neck, the knife was my victory flag. Michael my latest “conquest.”
The adrenaline kept me warm on this winter night. Not to mention helped console me from the tragedy...
Curious, I reached toward the ski mask.
In a quick tug, I yanked it off. And there was the dream guy from Bumble: Michael Barnes. His blue eyes now faded with death. His face less handsome, his body less muscular under the gore.
All the while, the laptop’s frenetic comments kept going. An assembly line of voyeurs.
I confronted their many disappointed faces. The crowd bloodblocked.
“Fuck you!” I screamed. Several vicious stomps smashed the screen into smithereens. Death to LiveKills... at least for tonight.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a figure appear. Creeping in from the dark depths of the other bedroom. A tall figure in dark leggings and a flowing cape. A woman. Her entrance like that of a rock star taking the stage.
The fear coming back, I faced her. Faced the mannequin mask. Its long, mocking smile. The big eyes beneath it. The big boobs beneath the black clothes. And the even bigger knife in her hand…
There was Shannon. The stuff of Creepypasta lore. Of rhonnie14 horror. Right here in the flesh.
Showing off brute strength, Shannon pushed me to the ground. She glided over me. Her movements effortless.
Shannon put the knife to my throat. A headlock I wouldn’t dare try to escape.
In a theatrical motion, Shannon held out her phone. A message already prepared for me was on display. The letters big and crude.
Do what you’re told and you’ll live, bitch The winking emoji next to it did little to comfort me…
So here I am now. In a house I’ve never been to and in a room without a window. I’m trapped. No longer Melissa Ramsey but Tara Heisler. I guess my wish did come true… I’m the bombshell. A bombshell crafted by Shannon and all the others involved at LiveKills.
The process wasn’t easy. This wasn’t botox or a smooth surgery. Instead, my skin was bleached in the cheapest way possible. Similar to the dye they use to keep my hair bleached blonde. Blue contacts now disguise my eyes. Crude surgeries gave me the lousiest silicone for the big boobs.
Now I sit alone in this room. A poor man’s version of that Instagram model I based my Catfish persona on. The laptop and cell phone my only items. The thousands of horny girls and boys my only company… people not unlike me in the days before I met Shannon.
Looking back, I can’t help but wonder if Michael was really the killer or a victim. If he was someone like me. Someone they dolled up for the kills. Someone they forced into this twisted game.
I’ve been told my turn is tonight. My first livestream murder. Shannon is joining me to make sure I go through with it. Both of us armed with those huge knives. I’m not really sure what else to say. What else to do. All I can tell you girls and guys is don’t get too thirsty. Please don’t be Melissa. And if you end up matching with a Tara Heisler, a Southern blonde charmer… be careful. Because it’s either gonna be you or me who makes it through the night.
submitted by rhonnie14 to ThrillSleep

BUDGET BREAKDOWN/RECAP: $46k, 85 guest Malibu Wedding

(Kind of a lot of) PHOTOS!
Us as a couple: both 30, been together for 9.5 years. He’s a software engineer and I’m contracting at a tech company #SiliconValleyLife
Engagement Date: December 18, 2017
Wedding Date: August 3, 2019
Location: Malibu West Beach Club, Malibu, CA
I am from the Midwest and he is from SoCal. We ruled out the Bay Area as a wedding location pretty quickly since literally everyone except us and a few of our friends would have to travel (and the pricing is ridiculous), then had to choose between my hometown and his. SoCal won out because his family is larger and all located there (whereas mine is smaller and spread all over) and it was closer to us so it was easier to take trips down to plan. The pricing is not really any less ridiculous than the Bay Area, but what can ya do. Advice for planning a wedding somewhere you don’t live: Save up some vacation time for weekday vendor meetups. We did phone/Skype calls for everything we could, but you can’t do a tasting, an engagement shoot, or a hair and makeup trial over Skype. We did not include the cost of our planning trips down to LA in our wedding budget because most of the time we were able to combine them with other plausible reasons to be visiting his family, but that’s something to consider when budgeting as well.
Guest Count: 84 (152 invited, 92 Yes RSVPs, 8 no-shows {7 with at least some amount of warning, 1 without})
Initial (and oh so naïve) Budget: $30,000
Revised Budget: $40,000
Actual Total Spent: $43,824.32 (Budget spreadsheet here!)
Full Value of Wedding (including $1498 dress, $189.95 veil, $80 alterations, and $69 escort cards that were gifted to me): $45,661.27
Venue: $7,450
Rental included use of the space for 12 hours, from noon to midnight, and their tables and chairs. Cost includes the $100 extra we paid to rent the space an extra hour until 1 am (in lieu of an afterparty, since the bars were far away and we were afraid people would get sleepy in transit), and $100 to have their staff set up the tables and chairs. We had the ceremony and reception at the same venue.
Ceremony Extras: $50.44
This includes a sand ceremony set—although we used it for a spice ceremony instead!—and vow books.
Catering: $11,858.06
-Appetizers during cocktail hour—nacho bar and tray-passed quesadillas
-Signature cocktail mixers – traditional margarita and a mango margarita with Tajin rim. We provided the tequila.
-Taco bar and tri-tip buffet for 100 guests (under 100 this caterer added huge per-person surcharges to their costs, so even with all the dropouts we were kind of stuck. Having invited 150+ we were confident this would not be an issue, but you just never know with weddings.)
-2 tier wedding cake + sheet cake from a partner bakery
-Coffee and tea bar
-Late night snack – 3 flavors of mini pizzas
-Linens and napkins
-Centerpieces (floating candle vase trios) and table numbers
-Bar package: plastic cups, stir sticks, ice, and cocktail napkins provided
-Use of cake cutting set and cake service
-Staffing: 1 Reception Coordinator (basically a DOC, just for the reception half only), 1 head chef, 2 kitchen staff, 5 servers, 1 bartender
-Gratuity for catering staff
-Additional tip for Reception Coordinator
Nothing but love for our caterer, Critic’s Choice Catering. Although they did surprise us along the way with a couple of costs (requiring us to rent some tables so that all tables would be the same size, linens for the DJ and cocktail tables) they were so attentive, responsive, and all-inclusive I don’t even care. We barely had to think about décor, the food was amazing, and the rest of our vendor hunt was a breeze because they had so many partners across the industry. The Reception CoordinatoCeremony Coordinator split was a bit unusual, but it worked out just fine.
Rentals: $769.50
This included water glasses, salad and dinner plates to fill out our 13 tables of 8, 9 60” tables, a wooden bar top we fell in love with, and a “pipe and drape” to hide the kitchen operations from guests.
Beverages: $1416.43
Our venue was BYOB, and we chose to stick to beer (Corona, a wheat beer from my hometown brewery, and an IPA from an LA brewery), wine (1 red—Cabernet Sauvignon, 1 white—Pinot Grigio, and 1 rosé), and 2 signature cocktails because CA is not a buyback state and we didn’t want to overcomplicate the estimation for ourselves. We overspent here because we calculated based on 100 drinkers and then had 84 guests total, some of whom don’t drink at all, but we’re working our way through the leftovers. Link to my wedding alcohol calculator here
Wedding Cake: $185
The cake itself was free through our wedding catering package, but we paid for premium flavors (strawberry cake with white chocolate mousse, almond cake with French Vanilla Bavarian cream, and lemon cake with Raspberry Supreme, which is raspberry jam + whipped cream—Best Decision) and delivery from the bakery to the caterer’s main office. I also stuck our cake topper in this category—it was cute, but if you order from this shop be prepared to wait literal months for your order.
Transportation: $3048.80
This was a big splurge category for us because of our hotel situation. News flash, hotels in Malibu in the summertime are Crazy Expensive. Neither of our families could afford $300-400+ a night rooms. So we found a reasonably priced hotel in Culver City for a hotel block…45 min-an hour away from the venue with no traffic. And when in the history of LA has there ever been no traffic? We didn’t want to force people to choose between spending a fortune on an Uber or Lyft (of which there weren’t many in west Malibu anyway) or DDing and limiting their fun (which we were afraid would put a huge damper on the afterparty-at-the-wedding feeling we were going for), so we got a charter bus to shuttle guests to and from the hotel. If you’re on the hunt for an affordable shuttle in the LA area, I highly recommend Intermex Transportation—cheap prices, on time, no problems! Conversely, STAY AWAY from Los Angeles Charter Bus Company—this company is a front for Shofur, whose reams of bad reviews I unfortunately did not discover until AFTER putting down a deposit. Luckily it was small enough to walk away from. This category also includes a limo for the bridal party from the hotel to the venue (so I could drink champagne en route and not freak out about traffic) and a sedan for my husband and I from the venue back to the hotel.
Décor: $1231
Calligraphied welcome, cards and gifts, guestbook, and bar menu signs and buffet food labels; rental of venue’s arch, paper lanterns, and escort card sandbox; plain white satin card box (decorated by my MIL); gaming dice to put into our centerpiece vases; Lord of the Rings-engraved toasting flutes and glittery initials for our sweetheart table.
Florist/Ceremony Coordination: $2068
Karen Sartori absolutely killed it for us, and all for under $2000 before tip. She produced gorgeous floral designs with not much more to go on than “coral, and I don’t like daisies,” she had great money-saving ideas for us (repurposing aisle flowers for the cocktail tables, arch decorations for the sweetheart table, and bridesmaids’ bouquets for the cake table), she helped us figure out our timeline, she coordinated our rehearsal and ceremony, she threw in extra rose petals and greenery and florals for decoration all over the venue…she was amazing. Our biggest cost savings here was probably the lack of floral centerpieces because we chose the vase trios provided by our caterer instead.
DJ + Uplighting: $1095.25
We went with the cheapest tier DJ from VOX DJs and got a caterer discount AND a Labor Day booking sale, and our DJ did a great job! I’m a little upset with myself for following my reception coordinator’s advice and adding $150 of uplighting at the last minute when the venue really didn’t end up needing it, but in Wedding World that’s a fairly small expense, so whatever.
Photography: $4392.40
BKM Photography is a goddess and you should hire her immediately. Not only does she take fabulous photos, puts you at ease in front of the camera, and knows how to put you in flattering poses, she’s a great seamstress who literally saved my night for dancing by sewing my bustle back together after I broke it doing an ill-thought-out jumping picture. This price includes:
-11 hours of coverage (1 at a discount because it was pure travel)
-2 shooters
-2-hr engagement shoot
-10x10 40-page photo album (we don’t know what the hell we’re doing in terms of design, so we wanted someone who literally does it professionally to handle it so we’d be sure to have a good-looking album)
-upcharge for fully hi-res photos (she prefers you order larger prints through her, which let’s face it we probably will, but I wanted the ability to go elsewhere if desired/necessary)
-sales tax
Officiant: $200
This was my husband’s uncle, who is a pastor. We bought him a $200 gift card to Kansas City Steak Company as a thank you.
Printed Materials: $585.07
SO proud of myself here. This includes 100 Save the Date cards + 280 return address labels, 85 invitations, 70 programs, 50 thank you cards, $135 worth of postage, and a $224 guestbook canvas we adore. USE SALES. Vistaprint 50% off at the end of July and Zazzle 50% off at the end of December were our lifesavers.
Gifts: $1970.78
Another big splurge area for us as compared to the average wedding, I think. My husband’s parents gave us $7k toward the wedding and, while my parents didn’t contribute financially, my mom was on the phone with me almost daily throughout my engagement keeping me sane, and my stepdad drove a 7 passenger van transporting the male half of the wedding party and a bunch of booze to the venue, and then all of our décor and gifts and food and leftover booze back to the hotel at the end of the night. And my grandma bought me my wedding dress and veil. So we were more than happy to give back a little bit. This includes: picture frames and (TBD) wedding photo prints for both sets of parents, a nice bottle of Scotch for my stepdad, a night out to my in-laws’ favorite steakhouse, a gift card to my parents’ favorite restaurant, a wine club membership for my grandma, personalized-to-their-interests mugs and $50 Starbucks giftcards for the bridesmaids, and nice bottles of various alcohol for the groomsmen. I also got this tie for my husband for a day-of gift (then I couldn’t keep a secret so he got it early XD).
Hair and Makeup: $1930
Again, we splurged here. I chose an expensive artist ($600 total for the bride, including trial) because I talked to a ridiculous one ($1000 just for the bride, just for the day of?!) that made her prices seem reasonable. Then I was originally going to go the “make it optional and everyone pays their own way” route with my bridesmaids and the mothers, but then everyone wanted professional services except my sisteMOH, who couldn’t afford it. So to make it fair and not leave just my sister out, my husband and I decided to cover everyone’s, except for the tip. I think Jackie Romero was worth every penny; I felt like a goddamn queen and I thought everyone else looked stunning as well.
Attire/Appearance: $2832.45
As noted, my wedding dress and veil and ~most~ of the alterations were a gift. I counted the $150 plane ticket and $60 of Lyft rides in transit to LA for my final fitting into my alterations cost because there was literally no other reason I was going down there, and I got a $25 last minute alteration to the bustle (I never want to hear that word again btw) because I wasn’t satisfied with how high my original seamstress had it and she said she couldn’t do it any lower. Husband rented a charcoal gray suit + accessories from The Black Tux for ~$200 and had no complaints; in fact, he bought the thing afterwards so he’d have a suit to wear to all the other weddings we’re attending this fall. The big ticket item in this category is my wedding ring, clocking in at $1616.67 (hello pavé); husband’s was a $45 titanium band from overstock.com, and he INSISTED that was all he wanted, although I had a lot of guilt about the price discrepancy. Other stuff I put in this category was my accessories (shoes, jewelry, and hairpins), all my beauty appointments (nails, waxing, eyebrow threading, and highlights), and my husband’s haircut.
Rehearsal Dinner: $298
Another huge win for my budget-loving soul here. We had our rehearsal at 3 pm in a park near the hotel (because we weren’t about to pay the venue an additional $100 and deal with a drive out to Malibu in weekday traffic in order to rehearse there), then we had pizza delivered to the park and ate at a picnic area. Only people involved in the wedding were invited—we did a no-host bar meetup later that night for anyone who wanted to stop by. The one downside was that I had no rain plan for this, but luckily it didn’t matter.
Favors: $110
I was FULLY on board the no-favors train, until someone on the Bridechilla Facebook group (which I recommend joining!) mentioned they were doing $1 lottery ticket scratchers. Well, my husband’s family loooooves scratchers, so we threw a hundred bucks at them and placed 1 at every place setting. Well worth it (although my family/friends didn’t get it, haha).
Other: $2,259.91
Things MOST useful from this category: $91 marriage license, $260 liability insurance (required by our venue), $690 suite booking for 3 nights (1 for me the night before, 1 for the wedding night, 1 to decompress the day after), $30 prosecco for getting-ready mimosas, $5 sewing kit off Amazon.
Things LEAST useful from this category: $40 custom URL from The Knot (we had to pay for 2 years since we purchased it more than a year out from our wedding)—NEVER EVER EVER use The Knot (ask me why), $24.57 bridesmaid dress swatches from a bunch of companies none of my girls ended up using, $24.29 microphone attachment for BIL’s fancy camera which was supposed to be our videography replacement which he then FORGOT TO TURN ON before the ceremony, $45.50 coral velvet ring box from a Bulgarian Etsy seller to look pretty in detail shots that didn’t end up arriving until 3 weeks after the wedding.
If there’s anything you’d like broken down more, anything you’d like to know about my planning process or the wedding itself, or anything else, ask away! Weddit helped me so much over my 2+ years of lurking and planning, I’d love to return the favor.
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