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I am 29 years old, I make $62,00, live in Chicago, and work in tech/product support.

I live with my BF (creatively named BF in my money diary) but we don’t have combined finances. We split rent, groceries, and utilities 50/50, and generally take turns paying for takeout, coffee shop visits, etc. I’m not including his expenses here but I did note the total and breakdown of our shared expenses.
Section One: Assets and Debts
Retirement balance - $9,807 total. $8,797 is in a 401k that I started contributing to in 2019. I currently contribute 7% and my company matches 6%. The rest is in a Roth IRA that I just opened a few months ago. I also contribute 1% per paycheck to an ESPP.
Equity- N/A
Savings account balance - $5,704. $1,000 of this is in a savings account tied to my checking account for easy access and the rest is in a HYSA.
Checking account balance - $243. I only keep a couple hundred in here for bills.
Credit card debt - $0. I use my credit cards for everything but I pay them off at the end of the month.
Student loan debt - $0. I just finished paying off my loans in September! About $35,000 total.

Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I started babysitting at age 11 and had a regular after-school gig through middle school. I had various minimum wage jobs through high school so that I could buy a crappy car, pay for gas and insurance, and have some fun money. In college I worked about 30 hours a week split between two jobs, which paid for my living expenses. I graduated in 2013 with a BA in English but no plan, so I kept working at my college jobs for over a year after graduation. My first salaried job was as an admin assistant where I started out making 35k. That felt like a ton of money to me and I was so excited when I got that offer! I moved up as an office manager at that company making 50k and I was making 55k when I left that job. My current position is unrelated to my degree/experience, and I got lucky when a friend of a friend recommended me for the position. I started a year and a half ago at 54k + quarterly commission and am now making 57k + quarterly commission that rounds my salary out to 62K. I’m also eligible for a yearly bonus, which was 5% of my salary in 2019, but that’s not guaranteed so I don’t count it as part of my salary.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
$1,490 biweekly. I budget based on two paychecks per month so in three paycheck months the third paycheck goes straight to debt or savings. Every quarter I also get a commission check that’s around $1,200. I typically buy something that I’ve been wanting with part of that and then put the rest in savings/to debt.
Deductions:
Health Insurance - $92.16 per month
Dental and Vision Insurance - $16.20 per month
401K - $155.60 per paycheck
ESPP - $22.21 per paycheck
Supplemental LTD - $11.89 per paycheck
Side Gig Monthly Take Home:
I used to babysit every couple of months for a family I’ve worked for since college, but Covid has squashed that. At most I made $100 every few months so it was never a lot of money anyway.

Section Three: Monthly Expenses
Housing Expenses – Total is $1,600 for a 2-bedroom apartment, split with BF. We each pay $800 per month. BF also pays $100 per month for parking but I park on the street like a pleb because it’s free.
Electric - $35-75 for my half depending on the season.
Gas - $35-75 for my half depending on the season.
Compost - $24. I pay for all this while BF pays for Amazon Prime.
Car and Renter’s Insurance - $95. I hardly drive so I don’t have regular gas expenses.
Internet - $13. This is a job perk and includes cable, internet, and several smaller streaming subscriptions. I share the subscriptions with my friends in exchange for Hulu and Netflix.
Phone bill - $51.
Gym - $50 for a small gym near my house (even though I’m not going because of Covid) and $24 for an online Pilates membership. I keep cancelling and then restarting the Pilates membership and I’ll probably keep it at least through winter.
Retirement Contribution – Once my car loan is paid off I’ll be regularly contributing to my Roth IRA. For now, the contributions are sporadic.
Savings Contribution - $350-$700.
Investment Contribution – None.
Debt Payments - $208 per month for my car loan. There’s $3,800 left on the loan and I’ll probably pay this off in January 2021.
Donations – Around $500 spread out through the year. Mainly to Planned Parenthood and my favorite animal shelter.
Pet Expenses - $10-20 on food and litter. I usually spend around $200 per year for her shots and vet visits. She did get sick earlier this year for the first time ever, so we’re at $2,000 in vet costs this year.

Section Four: Additional Questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I liked school growing up and I think there was an expectation that I’d go to college, but it wasn’t something that we talked about. My older brothers attended college so it seemed like The Thing To Do. I took out a total of 35k in student loans to pay for school and the rest was covered by scholarships. I also worked through school because I didn’t live on campus after my freshman year and had to pay for rent and groceries.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My parents gave us an allowance and encouraged us to save it, and they helped me open a savings account when I was around 10 years old. Everything beyond saving = good I had to learn on my own though because my parents aren’t great with money.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Other than babysitting, my first “real” job was at a grocery store right after I turned 16. I wanted to buy a car and was trying to save money like crazy!
Did you worry about money growing up?
I knew we didn’t have a lot of money growing up but we always had the basics so I didn’t worry much about it. My dad lost his job in 2009 though, and at that point money became a huge source of stress.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Age 19, when I moved into my first apartment. My dad lost his job right as I was entering college so even though my parents wanted to help out, they couldn’t. As far as a safety net, I have my savings and my BF would help me out if the worst happened.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My grandpa left me $2,000 when he died when I was little. My parents forgot about this money until recently, and I ended up using it to pay off the last of my student loans!

Day 1: Monday 11/9
· 7:45am - I wake up even though my alarm won’t go off until 8:30am. I check my email, texts, Instagram, etc. until 8am and then finally get out of bed. This laying in bed thing is new as of the pandemic, I used to get out of bed right away. I kind of miss that get up and go energy.
· 8am – Do my morning routine: put in my contacts, brush teeth, wash face with Versed cleanser, put on The Ordinary Niacinamide + Zinc, and Neutrogena moisturizer. I didn’t wear makeup even when I was going into the office so my routine has always been quick and easy. I get dressed in my wfh uniform of leggings, t-shirt, sweatshirt, and slippers. Thankfully I’m only ever on camera with my closest coworkers who don’t care what I look like.
· 8:30am- I go for a quick walk around my neighborhood. It’s 60 degrees out and I’m trying to take full advantage because it’s going to get cold again this week.
· 8:50am- Breakfast of avocado toast with feta and lots of hot sauce. While I eat, I let the cat out into our building’s hallway. She loves this and will stand at the door yelling until we let her out, probably because we’ve gotten in the habit of giving her a treat when she comes back inside.
· 9:45am – Make a mix of homemade cold brew + Starbucks peppermint mocha cold brew (this ish is expensive and I’m trying to make it last) and log into work. I always hope for slow Monday mornings, but I never know what I’ll be walking into. Thankfully the universe cooperates, and I have time to catch up on some lingering projects.
· 11:30am – My friend texts me that her company is doing a friends and family sale with a huge discount and sends me the code. I order a bunch of candles, bubble bath, and bath salts. Bit of a self-care splurge but I like to burn candles while I work.
  • $60.58
· 2:30pm – Break for lunch. I have a designated lunch hour, which sometimes sucks, but it is nice to fully unplug for an hour. I heat up some frozen potstickers and add sriracha to them, with a side of Pringles, a Fiber One bar, and some diet root beer. Gourmet, I know.
· 3:30pm – Back to work until 7pm. Work is still blessedly slow. I order 4 books for Christmas presents: The Power, A Woman is No Man, A Place for Us, and The Last Tudor. These will go to my mom, my aunt, and my boyfriend’s mom. I’ve agonized for weeks about which books to get each person. This feels like a big spend for books, but I order from a woman-owned Chicago bookstore and that makes me feel better than ordering from Amazon.
  • $73.94 with shipping
· 6pm- It’s my turn to cook dinners this week so I chop a sweet potato into fries and stick those into the oven while I keep an eye on work stuff. I also cook up some chicken sausage to go with the sweet potato fries.
· 7pm – Work’s done. While the sausages are cooking, I chop some apples that are about to go bad to make an apple crisp and I put that in the oven when I pull the sweet potato fries out. Eat dinner with BF and we each crack a beer because why not.
· 8pm – For the first time ever I order something from Instagram. An artist I follow is selling jewelry in a flash sale and I manage to snag a pair of earrings to gift to my sister for Christmas.
  • $13.00
· 8:30pm – Do my night routine of brushing teeth, washing my face with Versed cleanser, rubbing in The Ordinary Buffet, and taking out my contacts. I dick around on my phone until I fall asleep around 10:15pm.
Total Day 1: $147.52

Day 2: Tuesday 11/10
· 5:30am – We’re woken up by the cat pounding on our bedroom door trying to get in. We acquiesce and she settles on our bed for a little bit, but then starting prowling around in the closet loudly. I kick her out of the room and ignore her yowling until I fall back to sleep.
· 8am – Alarm goes off and I drag myself up and do my morning routine, then change into running clothes.
· 8:45am – Out the door for a short run. Pass my car where it’s parked on the street during my run and realize street sweeping is this week. Crap. I move my car so I don’t have to deal with that after work today.
· 9:20am – Get home and I’m still sweating so I decide to eat before I shower. Avocado toast for breakfast and I chug some water.
· 9:30am – Hop in the shower, then get dressed in gym shorts and a t-shirt. It’s nice out so I crack a window open next to my desk. Fill up my water bottle and make some iced coffee- half homemade cold brew and half pepp mocha cold brew again.
· 9:50am – Log into work and catch up on emails. Another slow morning. At some point I break to make some iced chai and eat a string cheese.
· 2:15pm – I have a surprise meeting with my boss today and I’m mildly nervous, but it turns out that he just wants to check in. I rarely talk to my boss because he’s fairly hands-off, but I do have an amazing managementor and a supportive little group that I work closely with. Typically, if I need help or want feedback on something, I’ll go to them instead of my boss.
· 2:30pm – Lunchtime! I scramble some eggs to eat with toast. I also eat a bag of mini muffins and watch 90 Day Fiancé while I eat. Love me some trash tv.
· 3:30pm – Back to work. BF is making lunch and he realizes the rice cooker is broken. I’m weirdly sad about it because I’ve had this rice cooker since college, and it’s been such a little powerhouse. We make a lot of rice so I order a new rice cooker on Amazon. BF is stressed out because of a work meeting and the broken rice cooker sent him over the edge, so I kick him out of the kitchen and clean up the million dishes he used to make lunch. I also finishing cooking the rice he was trying to make on the stove.
  • $21.21
· 5pm – Wrap up a long work call and start dinner prep. We’re having cheese ravioli with jarred pasta sauce, but I’m jazzing it up with some zucchini, spinach, and sausage. I chop those up and get back to work until 7pm.
· 7pm – Turn off my work computer and finish dinner. It turns out to be delicious! We finish off the apple cobbler for dessert. I move to the couch for more 90 Day Fiancé and end up snacking on mini muffins and crackers, whoops.
· 9:15pm – Shower so I can wash my hair, do my night routine, and read in bed. BF gives me a foot massage and I’m so sleepy, but we chat in bed until 11pm. We let the cat sleep between us which is probably a mistake.
Total Day 2: $21.21

Day 3: Wednesday 11/11
· 8am – Wake up before my alarm goes off. My hand is sore because I was sleeping with it clenched into a fist?? Okay then, body.
· 8:30am – Out of bed and I do my morning routine. Debate walking to a nearby coffee shop before I start work but the cold weather is back, so maybe not.
· 8:45am – BF finishes a work meeting early and is craving a bagel so coffee shop it is! I get a pumpkin latte and a jalapeno cheddar bagel, and BF gets coffee and an everything bagel. This place has a great rewards program, so I pay and rack up some sweet sweet points. This place closed from March-Julyish and I was so excited when it came back, so I always tip extra when I go.
  • $18.82
· 9:50am – Log into work. I have a call scheduled with a client at 11:30am but she no-shows, so I take a break to clean the kitchen and throw in some laundry. I’m trying not to be annoyed with the no-show woman and the little reset makes me feel better.
· 2:30pm – Lunch today is the half of the bagel I didn’t finish earlier, some sliced habanero cheddar, a handful of pepperoni, and a banana. More 90 Day Fiancé and after I eat I fold some laundry.
· 4pm – Have a meeting with my managementor that includes a lot of laughing. After the meeting I do some dishes and prep ingredients for a quiche that I’ll start baking at 6pm so it’s ready to eat when I’m done with work.
· 7pm – Work’s done and BF and I dig into the quiche. We each have a gin + soda.
· 8pm – I check the mail and the rice cooker I ordered is here already! A Christmas gift I ordered from Society6 last week also arrives: a coffee table tray printed with dachshunds for my weenie dog obsessed friend.
· 8:15pm – I set up a bath and bring in a mug of hot chocolate and a book (The Garden of Small Beginnings by Abbi Waxman.) I stay in until I’m pruney, then get into pjs and finish the book in bed. BF joins me around 11pm and we stay up chatting until 11:30pm.
Day 3 Total: $18.82

Day 4: Thursday 11/12
· Sometime in the middle of the night the cat starts freaking out. BF gets up to check on her, bless him. Normally she snoozes in the guest bed and doesn’t make a peep at night, so her behavior this week is strange. Maybe she wants to add some drama to this money diary, who knows. BF determines that the cat is just being an asshole, but we let her sleep in bed with us for the rest of the night anyway.
· 7:45am – BF’s alarm goes off and we snuggle for a few minutes. BF has an 8am meeting so while he logs in, I throw on clothes and head out for a run. I spot several cute dogs on my run and I have dog fever so badly, I want them all.
· 8:45am – Back home and am SO HUNGRY. I have water and scrambled eggs with goat cheese. Scroll through Instagram while I eat.
· 9am – Shower and get dressed in my very exciting leggings, t-shirt, sweatshirt, and slippers. I start more laundry (I don’t know how the two of us generate so much laundry) and make some coffee. Homemade cold brew + Stok mocha cold brew today.
· 10am – Log in to work and get started right away with some calls and a meeting.
· 12:15pm – Break to switch the laundry, talk with BF, and pet the cat. I eat a banana and have some more coffee, then get back to work.
· 1pm – The mayor’s holding a press conference about the exploding Covid numbers and Chicago is going into Lockdown Lite for the next month. I had a Friendsgiving planned with BF and two friends, but that’s a no-go now. Friends and I text about the press conference and we’re all sad. The thought hits me that I probably won’t see my 3 nephews for Christmas this year, so I buy punny greeting cards from Etsy. If I must send them boring gift cards at least I can send them in a funny card!
  • $19.11 for ten cards
· 1:45pm – BF comes back from the gym and brings in a package for me. It’s my candles and bubble bath I ordered earlier in the week, and I’m totally surprised because I never even got a shipping email. Excellent! I make BF smell all the candles with me while I tell him about Lori Lightfoot’s press conference.
· 2:30pm – Lunch today is more avocado toast and a Fiber One bar. Can you tell I bought too many avocados on my last grocery trip? BF picked up sushi for lunch and on his way home he stopped at a café for cookies. He got one chocolate chip and one oatmeal cayenne, so we split them both. I save mine for dessert tonight though. After I eat, I fold laundry, start Ruby the Roomba, and clean up the kitchen. Back to my desk at 3:30pm.
· 6:45pm – Heat up chili that BF made and froze last week, and microwave a couple potatoes too. After I log out of work at 7pm we eat and talk about what Thanksgiving might look like this year.
· 7:30pm – I eat my cookie halves from earlier in the day and start a new season of 90 Day Fiancé. It’s all new people and I’m not feeling it, so I get bored after 15 minutes and I turn it off to scroll on my phone instead.
· 8pm – Shower and wash my hair, then decide to call it a night and get in bed. I scroll on my phone until I feel sleepy around 10:15pm, but as soon as I turn the lights out my mind is racing with work and Covid thoughts. I’m drifting in and out when BF comes to bed and he accidentally scares me when he opens the bedroom door, lol. We snuggle up and I fall asleep for real.
Day 4 Total: $19.11

Day 5: Friday 11/13
· 5am – WHY is the cat pounding on the door? We’ve had enough of her nonsense and ignore her until she gives up.
· 7am – A much more reasonable time to be awake, although still early for me on a weekday. I decide to just get ready for the day and I have some water and a banana, then lay on the couch scrolling on my phone until BF wakes up.
· 8am – Check my email and see a package was marked as delivered at like 11pm yesterday. Weird, but there it is outside my door. It’s the earrings I bought from Instagram on Monday and they’re so cute! Also delivered was a package from HausWitch for my friend’s birthday next month. Thank you to whoever mentioned HausWitch in the small business thread! I got my friend a candle with the women from The Craft on it and some bath salts, and she’s going to love them.
· 9am – In honor of Friday I decide to go get coffee. BF and I walk to a little bakery down the street. He gets a coffee and a fig danish, and I get a giant iced dirty chai. We also get a loaf of rye bread from the day-old bread tray. Perfect for my beloved avocado toast! BF pays.
· 9:50am – Log into work and am crossing my fingers for another slow day to round out this bizarrely quiet work week.
· 10:45am – I sent out a bunch of emails and while I wait for responses to trickle in, I notice my friend texted me about a sale on La Colombe’s website. $25 for a 12-pack of draft lattes. Hell yes! I find a promo code to stack with the sale and get a pumpkin spice latte 12-pack and a vanilla latte 12-pack for $20 each. BF also requests some coffee beans. Total is $73.60 but BF immediately Venmos me $33 for his beans. $40 on canned coffee is mildly embarrassing but it’s way cheaper than buying cans at the grocery store or getting coffee out. I’ll stretch these with homemade cold brew too.
  • $40.60 for my coffee
· 12:15pm – Cat is screaming at me because she’s hungry - one of the cons of a desk setup in the kitchen. I break to feed her and get a fig bar for myself. While getting the fig bar I notice how dirty the counters are, so I spray those down. This spirals into random cleaning tasks and scooping the cat’s litterbox. Doing chores during work is my favorite part of working from home, by far.
· 2pm - I’m starving so I heat up some rice and make a pseudo Chipotle burrito bowl, which I eat at my desk.
· 2:30pm – Official lunchtime so I move to the couch with some chai. I text my friends and pet the cat until I have to get back to my desk.
· 3:30pm – Back at my desk and I do some life maintenance. Check my bank accounts, recategorize things in Mint, and clean up my email inbox. I notice that a refund from a return I dropped off at the post office last week posted to my credit card. FYI the high-waisted side pocket leggings from Pact are NOT squat proof.
  • + $38.59
· 6pm – One more hour of work to go. I have a gin + soda with BF while I sit next to my computer, desperately hoping that nobody pings me. We decide to get Mexican takeout and watch Borat 2 tonight.
· 6:45pm – BF heads out to get our food – nachos for me, tacos for him, and fried plantains to split. BF pays for this.
· 7:30pm – BF is back with the food and we dig in with Borat. It was better than I expected! There were parts where I closed my eyes though because I just could not handle the cringe. We hang out after the movie’s over and play some Animal Crossing.
· 9:30pm - I get into a bath with my new bubble bath. BF brings me hot chocolate because he’s great. I text my friend, A, to see if she’s down for a long walk tomorrow, and we decide to wait till the morning to figure out a plan.
Day 5 Total: $2.01 because of the refund

Day 6: Saturday 11/14
· Middle of the night – Cat is pounding on the door again. We’ve created a monster by caving and letting her sleep in bed with us and I’m filled with regret. BF wants to let her in because “she’s so lonely out there” so you can tell who the fun pet parent is in this relationship. We stay strong and she gives up eventually.
· 7:30am – I like waking up early on the weekends so I can get all my must-dos out of the way. BF does not share this attitude so I tip-toe out of the bedroom and get started with my day. I debate a run, but it’s cold and I’m not feeling it. I do a killer Pilates workout instead through The Balanced Life app. I’m half dead by the end and super sweaty.
· 8:45am – My friend A is responding to memes in our group chat so I know she’s up. I’m thankful we have similar get-up-and-go weekend morning philosophies; we’ve definitely been those people shopping at Aldi right when they open at 9am just to get grocery shopping out of the way. I text her and we decide that I’ll meet her at her place, then we’ll walk to a coffee shop that’s about a mile and a half from her apartment. I shower, eat an Rx bar, then drive to A’s.
· 11:45am – I’m back home after my walk with A. She paid for coffee so I Venmo her $5 for my dirty chai. We’re both bummed about going back into lockdown but hopefully we’ll still be able to meet up for walks when the weather isn’t horrible. Early in the pandemic we did baked goods exchanges on her front porch, so that’ll be a must this winter. We lived together for 10 years, up until last year, and it still feels weird not to see her every day.
  • $5.00
· 12pm – I make a quesadilla and munch on gummy worms A gave me. I call my mom to check in and she catches me up on the latest family gossip. After I eat I clean up the house a bit and make more cold brew.
· 3:30pm – I spend the afternoon reading a new library book, Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roper, and cuddling with the cat. BF comes in to admire how cozy we are, and I rope him into bringing me cold brew and the last package of mini muffins since I couldn’t possibly ask the cat to vacate my lap.
· 5:30pm – BF and I decide to order more takeout because we’re mostly out of groceries. We decide on Chinese and we get General Tso’s chicken, sesame chicken, egg rolls for me, crab Rangoon for him, and almond cookies for dessert. I’ve got a coupon on DoorDash to use up.
  • $38.16
· 6pm – I’m in the mood for wine so I walk to the grocery store and get two bottles. I also impulse buy Cheez-It’s and a German chocolate brownie from the bakery section. I should not have even walked through the bakery section.
  • $13.31
· 6:30pm – I get home just as the Chinese food is delivered. We stuff our faces and talk about the upcoming week. It’s BF’s turn to grocery shop and cook dinners next week so we talk about new recipes.
· 7:30pm – I get back in bed with my book and some wine. After several glasses I can’t focus on the book anymore so I switch to watching Big Little Lies. I dig into the Cheez-It’s and share the brownie with BF. We’re beyond stuffed and regretting our food choices.
· 12am – I head to bed while BF stays playing video games.
Day 6 Total: $56.47

Day 7: Sunday 11/15
· 8am – I wake up feeling like parched SpongeBob so I give up on sleep, pound water, and putter around the house for a while. I boot up Animal Crossing and hang out with BF once he gets up.
· 11:30am – Leftover Chinese food for lunch and I watch more Big Little Lies.
· 1pm – I transfer my butt to the bed to read more Unfollow. BF announces he’s getting pizza for lunch but I’m still stuffed full of egg rolls. He brings me back a dirty chai and a truly amazing Fernet and molasses cookie though.
· 4pm – I’ve been in bed for too long so I get up and do some random chores. I hang up a shelf I’ve been meaning to hang for weeks. I manage not to screw it up, which is amazing considering I am not handy at all.
· 5:30pm – I’m hungry and BF hasn’t gone grocery shopping yet because he has a day off tomorrow, so my dinner is a mish-mash. Pepperoni, cheese, the last of the Cheez-It’s, and some chocolate chips for dessert. I am health and wellness today. I watch another episode of Big Little Lies while I eat, then read more in bed.
· 10:15pm – I finish the book and text A about it because I think she’d like it. I get ready for bed and turn the lights out at 11pm.
Day 7 Total: $0

Total Week expenses: $256.14
Food + Drink: $115.89
Fun + Entertainment: $19.11
Home + Health: $81.79
Clothes + Beauty: + $38.59
Transport: $0
Other: $86.94 (gifts)
Reflection: The total feels like a typical week but the categories are not typical. This week didn’t include grocery shopping which would add $50-100 to the food + drink category. And I don’t buy gifts every week, although I have been trying to buy a few each month so that the cost doesn’t sneak up on me in December!
submitted by grinantonic to MoneyDiariesACTIVE

Barely Here 1/3 - Kim's Story

I think about Narnia a lot lately. Specifically, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Those kids went into the wardrobe, lived for years as kings and queens of a mythical land and then when they find the way back to the regular world, they were thrown back into their old kid forms. Like, what is that? What did they do? Just not tell anyone? "Hey I lived as a King in a fantasy world for years?" Who would believe them?
Who would believe me? About Witch's and spells and soulmates? Who could I tell? I mean I had to tell them something right? When Alexis asked why Eddy and I had broken up I told her that we grew apart. It wasn't a lie strictly speaking, but it wasn't the truth.
The Truth. The
It's ours! We FUCKING DID IT
hardest part not being able to talk about it means that I don't know if it really was real. I have the memories. I have years
Whatcha thinking about?
and years
What are we gonna name him?
of memories that only one other person knows about and I can't talk to Him about it. I'm stuck.
I'm not stuck. I'm moving. I'm going to move. I'm going to get off this floor. I'm going to go to work, which I have in like fifteen minutes, and I'm going to go through my shift and practice being normal. If I move normal, if I go through motions like thing's are normal, I will be Fucking normal again.
I slide my scrubs on and grab my bag. I probably won't go to the gym after work. I should, I got the membership for a 24-hour place so that I could use it. I've been good about getting my money's
Can't believe we afforded a house
worth from that place too. I just don't think I'm in the headspace to workout. I'm allowing myself to deal with this in its own time.
I opened the door and see Daniel in a mid-knock on my door. "Oh, Morning."
"Morning," Daniel says and hands me a plastic bag with a sandwich in it. "It's a, uh, egg-bacon-cheese sandwich."
"Oh," I blink and take the still warm baggie.
"How are you?" Daniel asks. He is good like that. Daniel is a kind boy, the nicest of my three brothers. He was the one I broke down on.
All those years?
"I'm.." I begin. "Dealing. Work'll help, I think. Keep me distracted."
"Ok. I'm here, if you want to talk," Daniel says.
"Thanks Daniel."
He makes the OK symbol with both hands. He saunters away down the hall, doing a pirouette at his door and then makes it look like he was pulled by the hip into his room. I smile. In all this craziness it was good to know some things stay constant

We are making a decision here; it does not affect my life. It can't. I afforded a house in the other place, I got my certification, I did all this shit already and thrived. No, no. If I was going to do it all again on my own, I had to think of what had happened like a very weird vacation. I can't dwell on it. It was already weird seeing Alexis as her 25-year-old self and thinking, I know what you look like when you're 40.
Is it healthy? It's healthy for the moment. That's what we're trying to do here. We're isolating the parts that we can't deal with yet and working on the problems in front of us, of which there are no shortages. Damarius was awesome and covered for me while I was on 'vacation', see it's already working, which means I'm returning the favor so he can take some time off.
I head into East Coast Veterinary and already see five clients waiting with their patients. This means we are either really busy or very behind. I can usually tell which by who is on shift and what their mood is like. Today we have Maria, an older lady who is sweet but gets overwhelmed so easily. I see her come in from the back, frantically searching for something in the computer. Let's test the waters, shall we?
"What's the story, morning glory?" I ask Maria as I clock in.
"Oh hey Kim!" Maria says with anxious eyes, a face mask concealing her worried smile. We're backed up.
"How's it going so far today?" I ask.
"It's a little busy," she replies, not looking up from the computer. "Dr. Atkins had a little trouble with a Shiba that came in earlier and we've been playing catch-up ever since."
"Never fear, dear Maria," I say. "Nothing another couple hands can't help. I got the front here on Lock." I give her a wink and shoot her the old finger gun with a click in my mouth.
She smiles, I think. Face masks, am I right? You never know what's going on under there. Maria says thanks and makes her way to the back. I head onto the computer and begin to get the updates on who we've got here, who we have coming and what order it's all happening in. Just like that I'm in, happy for a distraction. I throw myself into it, making call reminders for upcoming visits, answering questions about how the medication on the pets work, handling payment, paperwork, fussy Karen's who've been waiting too long. Even though it's been
I am certified bay-BEE
awhile since I did this specific job, at least in terms of my
the rest of your life ahead of you
Stop it.
...
Ok. I'm just saying I've had more practice since then. I'm better, and I'm happy that'll help with certification. I'd probably be able to take the test but they still require a certain amount of hours and I still have to go through those. All this to say, it felt good to be good at what I was doing. I came into a mess and I made it better. My dad is always telling me that humility is not the opposite of pride, it is the truthful accounting of oneself both good and bad. I can say I did well today, and that makes me happy.
As I'm winding down to the end of the shift, I see an old favorite client and patient. The Client is Cline, a blond-haired gentleman and his tortoise Lestat.
"Good evening, Mr. Cline," I greet him. "And hello Mr. Lestat. How are we today?"
Cline gave a flashing smile. My God he had perfect teeth. "I am well. As for Mr. Lestat I fear that his temperament has not improved."
"Ah," I say, taking out a chart. “Would you say this is his normal moodiness or is there a concern?"
Cline shrugs. "I believe he's just moody, but at his age you can't be too careful. Thought I'd bring him in, make sure."
I nod, ask a few follow up questions and begin to ring Cline up for his payment. As he hands me his card, our hands touch briefly. I get a weird feeling in my arm, like I just hit my funny bone. I look down at my forearm and see a small mark appear on my skin, a little red scratch that looks like the number 1.
"Oops, sorry did I shock you?" Cline apologized.
"No you-" I get cut off. I'm looking at Cline, but now I'm seeing him. I'm seeing his complexion, his eyes, sullen cheeks.
"Is everything alright?" Cline asked.
I don't answer him. I'm looking behind him. The clinic's front is just glass windows and a door. At night time, you can stare at the entrance from inside the building and the lights inside the clinic make it a kind of dark mirror. As I stared into it, I could only see me. I feel heat in my face and my stomach go cold.
"You only have night time appointments." I say, quietly but, oh yes, he can hear.
"Yes, I have a condition that makes-"
"You're a vampire."
Maybe it is the way I look at him that prevents him from trying another story, maybe he sees something that makes him feel like I was already certain. I can't say what goes on in his mind. I only know that Cline smiles.
With fangs.
submitted by thedodging6 to Thedodging6

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