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Meth paranoia, abduction, conspiracy proof?

Ok I am a new reader and this is my first post on this sub.
First, a little background. Through the entirety of my 20s I was homeless and strung out on opiates and alcohol. I lived in Los Angeles and was a frequent visitor to both Skid Row and mcarthur park. As you can imagine I have many stories involving creepy people and horrible experiences. I also had many positive experiences where I saw the depth of human compassion and the true strength people can show in the face of horrible adversity. Overall, I am glad now that I went through all of it. It made me the person I am today and taught me alot about people and that I can basically survive anything. It taught me to be kind and to hold on because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. 
I am unable to remember the exact date or even year this particular incident happened because most of those years I was constantly high. All my memories during those times are broken up. I have the memories they just arent in any particular order.
Anyway, one day I had just picked up from my usual connection and was pleasantly stoned. I was on my way to the methadone clinic that was by mcarthur park to get my dose( yes I used to use methadone and heroin and alcohol every day). Anyway while I was at the clinic I met this guy who was also getting his dose. He seemed like a normal guy. He wasn't twitchy or paranoid and he was dressed rather nicely.
Now, I have developed over the years that I spent outside, a really good sense of people's vibes. I can usually tell after about five minutes talking to someone what they are about. You basically have to when you are on the streets because the kind of people that you are constantly around are usually crazy or on drugs and very likely they want to either rob you or hurt you. Even the people who aren't homeless and are considered "normal" that walk up and talk to you usually have a hidden agenda. Because unfortunately, most "normal" people who are really "normal" ignore you and pretend that you don't exist. Now this isn't always true. There are plenty of people out there who genuinely care and I have met a good lot of them and I thank god that I met some of them when I did or I would be dead 1000000 times over. I also used to be an atheist but now I fully believe in a God of my understanding and that he put those people in my path at just the right time.
Anyway, we were talking about all manner of things and eventually he asked me what part of town I lived in. 
I told him that I was homeless and stayed here and there.( A good rule of thumb is never tell anyone where you are sleeping). He laughed and said that he used to be homeless too and that after 4 years of it he had met an older Christian lady who at first would come down to see him once a month and buy him food or bring him clothes. then as she got to know him she started coming once a week and after about 5 months she knew his whole story and she asked him if he wanted to get clean and accept the lord he said yes to both and so she invited him to stay with her.
 He didn't really tell me much about her or about his time there but basically he said he only lived there long enough to get on methadone and get a job working in a grocery store. Where he said that he still worked. He said that while he was super thankful to her he hated living there because she made him go to church and he couldn't use anything in her house not even weed. He clarified himself by stating that while he did want to get clean from the heroin he didn't feel like he needed to get off of the other drugs he liked as they weren't at the root of his problems. Basically he only said yes to her because he wanted to get off of the streets. He then said that he had an apartment of his own now and told me that if I wanted to I could come back there with him and have a shower and have some food and drink( vodka). He also invited me to spend the night if I wanted. I said, I would love to drink but I have to tell you that I am not gay so if that is your reasoning I don't want you to get your hopes up or try to make a move on me.( I also need to note that I never got the gay vibe off him either but you never know and I had had very negative experiences towards the beginning of my homelessness with people inviting me to get high and then acting crazy when they realized I wasn't gay. But those stories are for another time.) He laughed again and said no he wasn't gay but he thanked me for being up front and honest. So I agreed to go and after we were both finished at the clinic we took a bus to where he lived. It was a short ride and he paid my fare as well since I was flat broke. 
He lived in a very seedy looking apartment complex. One of those ones that you can pay by the week. Basically a long term hotel. There are alot of those in la the worst of which are down by skid row. They have a shared bathroom on each floor and if they have a TV it only has one channel that plays porn. But when we got inside I was amazed at how nice he was able to make it. He had a hotplate and one of those little flat screen TVs with a DVD player and even an xbox 360.( I have always loved video games and I even had a gameboy advance with me on the streets for awhile but it got stolen when my whole backpack was pulled out from under my head when I was nodded out one time.)
I immediately ran over to it and looked through his neatly stacked game collection. He didn't have many but he had such notable titles as dead island and dead island 2, dead space and a few others that I don't remember. I told him that I loved games especially horror games and asked if I could play. He said I could so I began to play and he brought out a bottle of gran legacy vodka which I am very familiar with as it's cheap as hell and easier to steal from stores because of its low price and terrible quality. He was about to pour us glasses of it mixed with lemonade but I asked to pour my own for two reasons
  1. You can insure nothing is added.
  2. I only put like a drop of mixer in my drinks.
    I told him that I would probably end up drinking most of it and that I didn't use much mixer. He shrugged and let me pour.
    For awhile he just watched me play and we talked about the game. But then after about an hour he asked if I wanted to smoke. Thinking that he meant weed I said ok. He went off and I kept playing. When he came back he was holding a torch lighter and a pooky( an oil burner usually used for smoking meth.)
    I kinda laughed and said I thought you meant weed. He just shook his head and then pulled out of his pocket a baggie with probably about 2 grams of meth and loaded the pipe and handed it to me. Now I'm not one of those people who is a drug elitist who vehemently hates a certain drug and the people who use it. I was however a little wary of meth users due to my past experiences involving them and their crazy paranoid delusions which always ultimately end with them becoming paranoid about everyone around them. Again stories for another time. Back then I had used meth myself on occasion but I always hated the come down. But to be polite I took a small hit rolling the pipe so as not to burn the product. He nodded to himself as I handed it back and then preceded to take a huge hit. A little worried now I went back to playing and drinking. I never really got to play video games so I foolishly just decided that since he seemed so down to earth he might not be one of those people who go crazy when they get high.
    About 45 minutes passed where we talked a little bit and I played. I was telling him something about the game when he suddenly shushed me. He stood up quickly and went over to the one window and peeked out through the blinds.
    My heart sinking I tentatively asked if everything was ok. He didn't answer me for awhile but then he sighed and walked back over to me and sat down again. He looked at me with such an intense look of anguish that I couldnt help but feel sorry for him but then he told me that his mother had been repeatedly abducted by (I s... you not) extraterrestrials and that she believed that the government was after her because the aliens had shared with her secrets about life and the fact that humans were never from earth. He saw my expression and quickly said that she had schizophrenia and that he never believed her until after she had passed away. He said that she died from complications due to heavy drinking but they were never able to get ahold of the autopsy reports.
    He said that a couple months after she passed away he began seeing strange men that wore black suits everywhere and his phone would constantly have that echo effect that some people believe is proof that your phone is tapped. Then he said that once he had come home to find his place completely trashed but nothing that he could find was missing.
    Throughout this diatribe I sat stoically and did my best to keep my facial expression neutral. At this point I was edging from tipsy to full on drunk so I did however interrupt him once to ask why he thought the Government would bother tailing him and listening to his phone calls. He said he didn't really know but thought that maybe they believed that his mother had passed on the "forbidden knowledge" she had gained from being abducted to him and they were afraid he would go public. He said many other crazy things like how the appliances everywhere he lived would have bugs in them etc( your classic paranoid delusion trope here)
    Now I'm sure you, the reader, can see many holes with this theory but because this post is already long enough I wont mention them. But throughout his story I had been steadily drinking as much as I could because I was trying and rejecting various ways to tactfully disengage myself from the situation and I wanted to get as much alcohol into me before I tried to escape.
    When he began to wind down and was shooting me anxious looks I said to him look man it must have taken you an incredible amount of courage to tell me all this and clearly something must be happening to you I don't think you are just making it up. I was about to go on in this vein when his eyes suddenly narrowed And he stood up again very quickly he wasn't exactly yelling but his voice was raised and he said you don't believe me at all well I can prove it to you.
    I started to tell him that he didn't need to do that and to hold on because I wanted to have a cigg outside real quick He went over to his bed and pulled out a small folding knife from beneath his pillow.
    I was considerably worried at that point but the alcohol in my system allowed me to think and act alot calmer than I felt. I looked at the knife in disgust and said look man you gotta understand where I'm coming from you invite me over then tell me this incredible story I tell you I believe you at least partially and then you pull a knife on me? Not the best way to win friends and influence people. ( I'm sure many people on this sub may not believe me but you have to remember I lived day to day with this kinda shit)
    I said why don't you put that down and show me this proof. He actually did too he put it into his pocket and here comes the creepy twist.
    I decided that I was gonna have to pretend to believe him no matter what the "proof" was and possibly even stay the night or as long as it took to convince him that I was an ally and could be trusted with his secret.
    He actually apologized and I said don't sweat it man you're under alot of stress now where is it.
    He told me to follow him and we went out into the hall. He walked over to the front desk and super normally greeted the enormously fat clerk by name and asked for the key to their storage closet. The guy smiled handing it to him and said just make sure you bring it back ( many of you are probably wondering why I didn't yell for help then or make a break for it. But honestly I didn't even consider it because I had left my backpack in his room and I couldn't risk taking it because he would have been suspicious. In it was what was left of my heroin and all my worldly possessions. Many of you would be like who cares its your life man. But fortunately many of you are not drug addicts and wouldn't understand. I would have honestly rather died than lose my dope.)
    We walked back to the hall and he opened the closet. It contained a few brooms, a dust pan, rags, some bottles of cleaner and weirdly a red vacuum cleaner that looked ancient.
    It was the vacuum cleaner that he pulled out and mystified I followed him back to his room. He had me go in first and then he closed and locked the door. He motioned for me to sit and dropped the vacuum in the middle of the floor. He made a quick detour to the window where he peeked out again for a space of seconds then nodded to himself again and then went over to the bed and reached under pulling out a toolkit.
    He brought it over sat down and pulled the vacuum to himself. He looked up and said you can play a little longer I have to take this apart. I said ok and unpaused the game. In maybe 15 minutes he had taken the whole thing apart. I was watching out of the corner of my eyes now and then and he managed to get all kinds of dust and dirt all over himself and the floor but he finally found what he was looking for. He said pause it and look at this. He held up a small rectangular box about half the size of his thumb. I didn't know much about bugs back then but it certainly wasn't something that you would find in a vacuum.
    I was kinda floored actually because it even had little holes in a pattern on it like small soundbased devices. I turned it over but I couldn't find any type of markings on it or any switches or breaks in the plastic. He just watched me intently as I studied it and eventually I handed it back. He took it over to the sink and put it under the tap letting the water flow over it. I said with dead honesty looking him in the eye I believe you.
    He looked vindicated and even smiled and clapped me on the back. He sat back down and started to put the vacuum back together talking to me rapidly the whole time about his mother,aliens and his plan to bring down the government. Which now included me. I ended up staying the night and then the next day when we went to the methadone clinic I told him that I had to go score more dope but that I would be back later on that night as I had to go panhandle enough money for it. I had spent the night and I even contributed to his plans and ideations (i really got into it)so therefore he trusted me and he let me go. I never went back and I started going to the clinic at the very last moment during the day and I never saw him again. But, interestingly enough this has always stuck with me because its not even close to the worst thing I ever went through but the fact that he actually found a bug in the vacuum made me question alot of things after.
Sorry for the length I didn't mean for it to go that long and thanks for reading.
Edit: I looked up bugs years later and found a couple that looked very similar. Also the bug was not found in the dirt reservoir rather it was stuck on in the inside of the handle kinda next to the on switch. After he put it together again he tried it and it worked.
submitted by calcifur667 to Thetruthishere

Community - Official* Ranking of Every Episode

COMMUNITY - Official* Ranking of Every Episode

*official in the sense that this is what i_rank_tvshows thinks and that's pretty official

RANK # EPISODE TITLE SYNOPSIS ANALYSIS
#110 "Advanced Introduction to Finality" s4e13 Season 4 finale where Dark Timeline invades For all the genius the Dark Timeline gives us, this conclusion does not feel earned or entertaining. On paper, the idea seems fine: the Dark Timeline invades. But in execution, the logic is too much of a stretch to genuinely enjoy and it all feels forced.
#109 "Alternative History of the German Invasion" s4e4 German invasion snoozefest One of the most--if not THE most--forgettable episodes. Centering the episode around the revived German villains (sans what made them funny the first time, Nick Kroll) meant this was doomed from inception. Decent set up of the Changnesia storyline, but even that feels underbaked. Strong argument can be made this is the worst episode, but the one below it gets docked more for the mistreatment of the dark timeline.
#108 "Conventions of Space and Time" s4e3 Inspector Spacetime convention This episode is a shell of an idea, similar to Season 4 finale. With a promising conceit, the background of the convention could lead anywhere. Ultimately, it leads us on an unlikeable battle for Abed's favor that provides no growth or insight for the characters involved. And other cringe moments help to make this one another easy one to forget.
#107 "Cooperative Escapism and Familial Relations" s4e5 Thanksgiving at Shirley's; Jeff reunites with his father Season 4 really was the worst, right? In a show known for nailing it's holiday episodes, I was excited to see what they'd do with their only Thanksgiving entry. What we get is the 'Season-four-shell-treatment': they want to connect Shawshank with escaping Shirley's and that's literally all there is. I know others appreciate the Jeff/Father storyline, but it felt too flat for me to feel emotionally invested.
#106 "Advanced Documentary Filmmaking" s4e6 Changnesia documentary Chang is one of my favorite characters. Had the Changesia angle been more genuine, as the episode leads us to believe until the end tag, then it would rank much higher. Instead, the obvious Chang-betrayal puts us back in well-tread territory, undoing the nicer aspects of this documentary episode. Ultimately, another instance of trying to retroactively make a memorable Community episode, missing the heart that could have made it special--although it comes close.
#105 "Intro to Knots" s4e10 Christmas where they 'kidnap' professor Another entry in 'Season-four-shell-treatment' made even more apparent with it being a Christmas episode. Great setup, interesting twist, but so much wasted potential. Had they cut the Die Hard stuff entirely, it may rank higher. I found the references repetitive and annoying and it led nowhere. There's just not enough focus to appreciate what's happening. I still get immense joy from the reveal that Chang can't tie knots, but the entire kidnapping storyline is too underdeveloped to be meaningful.
#104 "App Development and Condiments" s5e8 Meow-Meow Beans HOTTEST TAKE ALERT! People seem to disagree with me on this episode the most. One of the few high-concept episodes that falls flat for me. The more the school is taken over by the app, the less invested I became. Jeff's journey to return everyone to sanity was uninteresting, perhaps due to the aesthetic choices of the world-building. Some funny moments aside, it just doesn't succeed in being much more than a concept. Love the Tim & Eric cameo; should have been featured more.
#103 "Intro to Felt Surrogacy" s4e9 Puppet musical The puppets, songs and cameos make this one a Season 4 highlight. It's enough to distract you from noticing there's not much beyond that. The storyline itself is absurd in a bad way. If they had embedded the dark secrets in much more straightforward way (and given Abed one even if he didn't end up sharing it) it would have been much more enjoyable. I would have loved to see this idea executed with the real creative team at the helm.
#102 "Economics of Marine Biology" s4e7 Greendale tries to lure rich student This one surprisingly grows on you. Initially, the prospect of Greendale selling out to lure in 'the whale' seemed like a half-hearted attempt to go zany (and revisit the Abed-college-movie terrain) but rewatching Magnitude lose his identity and remembering the P.E.E. subplot, this one has a lot of laughs and surprising amount of heart.
#101 "Laws of Robotics and Party Rights" s6e5 Convicts attend Greendale using mobile tablets There are some good jokes in here, but the execution of the main idea of telepresence robots used by criminals doesn't come off all that entertaining. I'm bored more than I'm laughing and it's a decent one to skip in rewatching.
#100 "Heroic Origins" s4e12 Comic book origin stories They pretty much the nail the conceit in this episode. The comic book interlays and the fun exploration of how it all started are ambitious if not a little forced.The discovery of Chang at the center of it all, clearing the way for him to finally join the group, is a triumph. I'm also not bothered by the yet unmentioned Froyo shop that served as an important landmark in their backstory because it feels at home with the comic cliche.
#99 "History 101" s4e1 Season 4 premiere where Abed goes to his happy place(s) Abed's imagining of Community as an entirely other sitcom (with Fred Willard as Pierce) is fantastic until you realize the real show is a shell of its former self. That contrast hurts what is actually a really fun episode. It also suffers from too many storylines not really gelling. And they waste Abed; he's just sitting there for the most part. It ranks this high because for better or worse: it sets the tone for gas-leak season.
#98 "The Art of Discourse" s1e22 Annoying high school showdown and Abed's college cliches If it wasn't for the super annoying feud between Jeff/Britta and high schoolers, this would rank much higher. The fun meta-exploration really finds a home with the college cliche fixation, but so much time is wasted on "Da-Doys!"
#97 "Intro to Recycled Cinema" s6e8 Chang Space Movie I love the bits of repurposing the old footage of Chang to fit into Abed's new movie, but the rest of the movie scenes were unremarkable. The Steve Guttenberg cameo was great and his reactions to the film are entertaining. I love the "Ham girl!" line rocketing Chang into stardom. Beyond that though, it's all too light and uneventful that it's easy to rank low.
#96 "Football, Feminism, and You" s1e6 Troy used to play football I'm very glad they dropped this version of Troy early on, but it's really the first dud in its run. It does get points for bonding Shirley and Britta in a fun way. And I suppose there's some merit to fleshing out Troy as someone who'd fake an injury to avoid a football career, but the story's still not aware of Troy's true character. Perhaps the best example of the show trying to find its footing.
#95 "Aerodynamics of Gender" s2e7 Magic trampoline This one just doesn't do it for me. Sure, the idea of a magically-calming trampoline sounds funny and they execute it well enough, it's just not something I really need to rewatch. I don't get much enjoyment from Abed's mean-girl routine either.
#94 "Basic Genealogy" s1e18 Family day at Greendale Overall, it's an enjoyable episode. It suffers in rewatching because there's not much memorable entertainment beyond Britta getting spanked by Troy's Nana.
#93 "Celebrity Pharmacology" s2e13 Anti-drug play I find Pierce extra-annoying in this episode. My main moment of joy comes from Chang taking over the role of drugs. The other storylines don't add much, but there are some good laughs throughout.
#92 "Contemporary Impressionists" s3e11 Jeff's narcissism and celebrity impersonators I find Jeff extra-annoying in this episode. Sure, that's sort of the point, but it doesn't make his extra-narcissism any easier to enjoy. The group playing celebrity impressionists is enjoyable, but this is the least memorable episode in what may be the best season.
#91 "Herstory of Dance" s4e8 Sophie B. Hawkins dance This is a Season 4 gem. Beyond the lovely Brie Larson cameo, witnessing Britta's journey to actual pride and satisfaction is one of the great emotional moments in the series. What holds it back is the unnecessary double-date trope that just lets the cliched developments feel a little flimsy. This is helped by the lack of development of Brie Larson's character in the rest of the season.
#90 "Custody Law and European Diplomacy" s2e18 Shirley's baby shower and Britta dates a war criminal The Chang-may-be-Shirley's-baby's-daddy arc was great and this episode is perhaps the most focused and rewarding concerning it. What drags it down is the unlikeable Lukka and the somewhat boring plot surrounding his being an awful human.
#89 "Advanced Gay" s3e6 Pierce becomes a gay-rights icon While it was fun to see Pierce embrace some actual character growth, it doesn't really get capitalized on moving forward. This could have been a stepping stone for him; instead, it's a wasted opportunity. Some good laughs and it sets up two important plot points: Pierce's father's death and Troy's induction to the wild world of AC-Repair.
#88 "Advanced Criminal Law" s1e5 Britta's on trial and Abed pranks Troy I love Abed's elaborate prank, even though real-Troy would have been much more gullible. All the trial stuff is gold, too, especially the setting by the pool. While it suffers from the characters not being themselves quite yet, it's still a fun episode.
#87 "Environmental Science" s1e10 Jeff helps Chang to get out of homework There's not much to this episode beyond the Jeff/Chang storyline, but it's pretty compelling to push things forward. Humanizing Chang always warms my heart and for this to be our first real dive into his life, it's a decent foundation. The Fievel arc is pretty memorable thanks to Donald Glover's hilarity and the duet sung at the end.
#86 "Paranormal Parentage" s4e2 Pierce's haunted mansion A Halloween classic that doesn't suffer (much) from the season it's in. It feels like Community and even offers Pierce some great opportunities to shine. Entertaining all around, but would likely be that much greater with Harmon's influence.
#85 "Origins of Vampire Mythology" s3e15 Britta's ex, Blade I'm always confused when I see the title because I think, "another Halloween episode?" I think that impacts my disappointment in this otherwise fine episode. The Pierce/Chang friendship makes me wish we had more. And Britta's texting/calling from the bedroom is actually pretty funny and there's a sad turn where Troy's kindness breaks the spell.
#84 "VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing" s5e9 Abed and Annie play TV board game Another one shaded by my personal disappointment. I was thrilled to hear Vince Gilligan would cameo, but was bummed this was the result. The end tag was funny, though. Decent snapshot of the fallout from Troy leaving, although it's continually frustrating to see Brie Larson underutilized. Oh, yeah, there's something to do with textbooks, too.
#83 "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts" s3e12 Shirley remarries Andre This one suffers from being forgettable beyond Troy and Abed's 'weird-down'. Of course, the wedding is a standout plot point, but one that gets shuffled away easily as the season progresses.
#82 "Basic Email Security" s6e6 Greendale is hacked While being a weaker entry in Season 6, it definitely has some strong moments. The leaked emails leads to a hilarious discussion among the group and the unified purpose for an ultimately unworthy cause is great. The kid cop gag is solid, too.
#81 "Basic Sandwich" s5e13 Part Two of Season 5 finale where Greendale is saved The episode operates as a treasure hunt and what could have been a series finale if not for Yahoo!. It's successful in its first operation although the solution being a stinky, perverted former teacher with a deus-ex-machina contract is underwhelming. It would have failed as a series finale so thankfully we need not worry about analyzing it as such. Highlight is definitely Richie's brain-robbing ability.
#80 "Basic Story" s5e12 Part One of Season 5 finale where Subway takes over Greendale Three "Basic"s in a row, wtf? Anyway, this one leaves the breadcrumbs for the eventual treasure hunt with intrigue and the idea of Subway controlling Greendale feels like dire stakes. It's a fun set-up that barely outshines its concluding half.
#79 "The Psychology of Letting Go" s2e3 Pierce's mom in a lava lamp While the heartfelt drive to get ice cream allows for a touching moment, the rest of the plots don't do much for me. Britta vs Annie seems gratuitous and Jeff's vanity was already worn out this early in Season 2.
#78 "The Politics of Human Sexuality" s1e11 STD Fair Some great laughs although the subplots don't add much to the enjoyment. Annie's search to see "it" is some good ole Reverse Porky's fun and Abed telling students to not use condoms over the PA is prime Community.
#77 "Basic RV Repair and Palmistry" s6e10 RV road-trip movie with the giant hand A fun, meta episode that feels surprising considering it's somehow new territory all the way in Season 6. Some good laughs, good heartfelt moments, and sets up the great run of episodes that follow.
#76 "The Science of Illusion" s1e20 Britta's April Fool's joke A decently funny episode made all the more memorable for being the introduction of Troy and Abed's talkshow. I'd probably rank it higher if not for the fact that I find Annie and Shirley vying to be the bad cop as too much of a 'meh' thing.
#75 "Grifting 101" s6e9 Grifting An oddball episode made palatable by the hilarious Matt Barry. While a little farfetch'd in execution, it's a fun journey that's fueled by the absurd hijinx.
#74 "Asian Population Studies" s2e12 Who will join the study group? Perhaps the most normal episode in the series. That's not a knock against it, it's just a little bland in comparison to what's around it. Some solid moments and laughs, although I find Rich perplexing and frustrating just as Jeff does because I don't know how I'm supposed to make sense of his character.
#73 "G.I. Jeff" s5e11 Jeff's animated coma A lot of people really dislike this one and I think there's decent crossover with that group also disliking G.I. Joe. I could be wrong, but that's the only way this episode is outright bad to anyone in my eyes. Because it's a dead on spoof that subverts the original show in a hilariously effective way. The clincher for me is how well embedded the conceit is with the reality of Jeff being comatose. Being able to nail the logic makes it all more enjoyable for me.
#72 "Competitive Wine Tasting" s2e20 Who's the Boss? You can pretty much throw out the main storyline of Pierce's new, suspect, love interest. That bit drags the episode down in my opinion. The strength belongs in Abed's storyline where he asserts his pop culture dominance over a professor. We do get an interesting look into Troy and how he continually struggles to have actual struggles compared to the other characters, which rings true throughout the series.
#71 "Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts" s2e21 Shirley has her baby An overall fun episode despite the Shirley pregnancy arc already being tired by this point. Britta trying to deliver the baby is gold and Chang being humanized will always please me and this is perhaps his greatest, human moment. Not the biggest fan of Pierce buying Troy/Abed's handshake, but it leads to some fun moments.
#70 "Analysis of Cork-Based Networking" s5e6 Bear Down for Midterms Being the first episode without Troy, naturally it's gonna suffer. What it does well though is capture the college-based zaniness that works so well for Community, highlighting new and background characters with the singular focus on an attainable goal.
#69 "Ladders" s6e1 Season 6 premiere where Frankie tries to fix Greendale A great introduction to perhaps the most underrated character, Frankie. While essentially being another 'Repilot' it does a good job in setting the new-ish stage while providing the same amount of laughs we expect from a good Community episode.
#68 "Studies in Modern Movement" s3e7 Annie's move Troy and Abed are especially grating in this episode and it really makes you sympathize with Annie. There's some redemption with their sweet, shadow-puppet performance. The highlight, though, is the Jeff/Dean karaoke of Kiss From a Rose.
#67 "Interpretive Dance" s1e14 Troy and Britta attempt to hide their dancing from group The dancing is great and a real chance for Donald Glover to shine with his range. It also offers one of the first instances of Troy being the heart of the group, sacrificing his secret to save Britta. If it wasn't for the bore that is Jeff/Slater romance, this one would rank higher.
#66 "Intro to Political Science" s2e14 Student-body president election Solid episode whose only crime is its debate setting not being nearly as funny or interesting as the episodes' ranked higher than it.
#65 "Geography of Global Conflict" s3e2 Model-UN showdown Fun episode with some memorable moments. Not a big fan of the UN showdown as the format but it works for Annie's obsessive passion. I wish Martin Starr would have been used more, his character had potential.
#64 "Basic Crisis Room Decorum" s6e3 Greendale gave a degree to a dog This episode is when I knew this final season was going to be done the right way. This has the classic feel of a Season 3 episode but with new characters bringing a fresh twist to what we already enjoy on the show.
#63 "Introduction to Finality" s3e22 Season 3 finale where Shirley takes Pierce to court What could have sadly been a series finale, this episode delivers in all the right areas. It's a satisfying conclusion to the Troy HVAC Messiah arc and ends on a hopeful look into the future.
#62 "Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism" s3e9 Foosball I always enjoy the Jeff/Shirley pairing and the connection in this episode is a strong look into their past and an example of growth. Any time Shirley can show off some unexpected skills that make her into a badass, sign me up. The anime cut of them facing off feels so right and unforced. Sadly, the B plot where Annie breaks Abed's DVD is complete (memorable) filler.
#61 "Biology 101" s3e1 Season 3 premiere where Jeff goes crazy A fun start to my favorite season. A successful foundation for what is the most ambitious season in terms of narrative connective tissue. This one sets the tone.
#60 "Course Listing Unavailable" s3e18 The group gets expelled from Greendale The momentum leading to the big gut punch at the end feels meaningful, as if the group could really be seeing its final days.
#59 "Accounting for Lawyers" s2e2 Jeff reunites with lawyer frenemy First episode where the group leaves the campus is a landmark moment. Very funny episode that gave us some classic moments like the Drew Carey cameo and the chloroform scene.
#58 "Communication Studies" s1e16 Jeff/Britta drunk voicemail Jeff and Abed's getting drunk montage solidifies this episode's entry this high into the rankings. While I'm not a big Slater fan, this is her most palatable episode by far.
#57 "Early 21st Century Romanticism" s2e15 Valentine's Day This episode really benefits from all its separate parts working together under the theme of Valentine's. Britta being needlessly defiant in the name of acceptance, Troy/Abed pursuing love only to realize their love matters more, and Jeff accepting Greendale through letting Chang move in is powerful. Even stronger, Pierce overusing his pain meds and seeing a tiny Andy Dick is funny until its made poignant by the dark ending.
#56 "Debate 109" s1e9 Jeff and Annie debate This episode gets major points for sparking the Jeff/Annie relationship, but it's one of my least favorites in rewatch. I guess it's the debate setting. Not taking away anything from the episode in terms of quality, it's solid.
#55 "Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality" s5e7 Jeff/Britta/Duncan love triangle and Hickey handcuffs Abed Some good character moments. I really enjoyed seeing Abed express a new emotion while be kept from seeing his movie. The Britta love triangle is interesting, but it doesn't add much beyond showing Duncan has an actual human side.
#54 "Anthropology 101" s2e1 Season 2 premiere with Betty White This one does a good job capitalizing on the drama generated in the Season 1 finale. We get the tangled mess of Jeff/Britta/Annie to good comedic effect and a maniacal Betty White cameo to boot. While the focus is completely on the romantic plot (and Abed says that can be boring) I felt like this was a good place to start the season.
#53 "Physical Education" s1e17 Jeff plays pool in shorts Jeff trying to look cool while playing pool is memorable, but it loses its comedic impact the more I rewatch it. Thankfully, everything surrounding it is pretty solid in this one, including Danny Pudi showing his range with impressions and playing his own doppelganger.
#52 "English as a Second Language" s1e24 New Spanish teacher I applaud this episode on how well it crafted the end of the first year: revealing Chang's a fraud at the risk of losing credit for the class, the tension between the group realizing they still haven't evolved beyond a study group quite yet, and setting up Troy's gifted handyman skills.
#51 "Romantic Expressionism" s1e15 Annie starts dating Vaughn Vaughn was a fun character and his relationship with Annie is memorable in the best way. The Kickpuncher stuff was solid bonding for the other characters, also allowing Chang time to find his footing within the early group dynamic.
#50 "Introduction to Film" s1e3 Abed takes a film class The first Abed-film episode that showcases surprising heart with its reveal at the end. This is perhaps the first example of how effortlessly the show is able to combine heartfelt moments with comedic ones while honoring their characters. I would argue this episode sets up the emotional center of Abed's claymation Christmas one in regards to showing the friction with his mother.
#49 "Spanish 101" s1e2 Spanish class An early outlier in my opinion: the second episode of the series actually showcases the characters well! We get hints of Chang's facade (Italian flags on flashcards/his eccentricity), we get Troy & Abed's iconic rap together, Pierce's focus on bonding with Jeff to fight off loneliness, Britta's being exposed as a lazy activist, and Shirley's baking brownies!
#48 "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking" s2e16 Pierce in hospital mockumentary A well executed mockumentary that showcases how Pierce feels about his fellow members of the study group while he attempts to manipulate them for his own means. It's a great conceit that manages to spoof the style of other popular sitcoms (The Office, Parks & Rec, Modern Family) while retaining originality.
#47 "Pascal's Triangle Revisited" s1e25 Season 1 finale where Jeff kisses Annie This one has some classic moments: Jeff/Annie's kiss, Troy eating the big cookie, Duncan/Chang fight, and Britta/Slater showdown. It's a great end point for the first season.
#46 "Social Psychology" s1e4 Annie's psychology class experiment Iconic scene where Donald Glover shows off his uncanny ability to cry comedically. The rest around that part of the episode is fine, pretty much building blocks and figuring out what else worked.
#45 "Competitive Ecology" s3e4 Lab partners A really fun episode where we get different pairings of the characters and some self-aware examining of the group itself. Detective Chang could have been a whole episode unto itself but it shares the space well here.
#44 "Lawnmower Maintenance and Postnatal Care" s6e2 Dean in virtual-reality AND JESUS WEPT! I mean it's comedic gold: Jim Rash using physical comedy to be a god in a virtual world full of boring features. It's so great and memorable, it outshines the other storylines about Britta's parents and Chang's long journey to see the nurse.
#43 "Advanced Safety Features" s6e7 Dean buys a Honda Another Dean classic episode. I was happy to see Subway the Person return because I've always shipped Britta and him. It's also chock-full of other greatness: Chang's PowerPoint presentation, Natalie is Freezing, and Billy Zane trying to hide.
#42 "Pilot" s1e1 Series premiere Where it all started. It has to be honored for that. The episode also has probably the best Jeff speech in the whole series.
#41 "Home Economics" s1e8 Jeff crashes with Abed The first instance of a dedicated pairing of Jeff and Abed. It allows them to showcase their easy chemistry and they create a bond that propels much of the show for here on out. Pierce's song is kind of annoying though.
#40 "Introduction to Teaching" s5e2 Jeff becomes a teacher at Greendale Pretty much a feel-good episode for me. It's a return to form after the gas-leak season and establishing re-pilot. We get Buzz Hickey, Abed doing Nick Cage, and Dean thinking in French.
#39 "Queer Studies and Advanced Waxing" s6e4 Chang stars in Karate Kid One of my most quoted episodes. Besides singing Gay Dean all the time, I also find myself reminding people that Ralph Macchio!...showed up.
#38 "Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples" s2e5 Abed documentary Abed going meta for the first time. But it also has the heart to show his vulnerability and Shirley's powerful friendship which saves the day. Pierce hanging with the hipsters also shows some vulnerability and provides some laughs.
#37 "Regional Holiday Music" s3e10 The group joins Glee club If they had to do another musical episode (and I'm glad they did) at least it was Christmas themed, again. This one is more focused on that as a theme and manages to spoof in fun ways. Baby Boomer Santa, thank you for everything.
#36 "Repilot" s5e1 Season 5 premiere where Jeff forms the Save Greendale Committee In a similar way to the Pilot, you have to give this one the same type of credit because it brought the show back to life. While its tone is darker than everything before it, Dan Harmon works his magic to make it feel like a part of the story all along.
#35 "Virtual Systems Analysis" s3e16 Annie goes into Dreamatorium I have a secret hope for the Community movie should it ever come to be: Abed and Annie should be together. There! I said it! Episodes like this where we focus on the pairing really show how well they work together and their chemistry can be magnetic. Beyond my daydreaming, this episode is a fun exploration of the characters in the vein of Abed's other imaginative journeys.
#34 "The First Chang Dynasty" s3e21 Heist to take down Chang Community does a heist movie. They nail it. We also get another John Goodman cameo and work towards resolving the Troy AC arc.
#33 "Wedding Videography" s6e12 Garrett's marriage mockumentary The incest episode. Also the episode where Abed doesn't physically appear. Yeah, it's a weird one. But the format makes it work and the group (especially Elroy) keeps us laughing.
#32 "Basic Human Anatomy" s4e11 Troy/Abed body swap Thanks to Jim Rash, Season 4 managed to crap out a classic. A great concept, some great acting, and a fitting end to the least popular romance in the show's history, SlateJeff included.
#31 "Geothermal Escapism" s5e5 Troy's farewell with a game of 'the floor is hot lava' A late-series classic showcasing the heartbreak of tearing apart the best pair Community has to offer: Troy and Abed. Of course it's another conceptual episode, but it manages to hold its own among them while relying more on the emotional moments for effect.
#30 "Investigative Journalism" s1e13 Greendale starts a school newspaper Buddy should have joined the group permanently. His lone entry in the series radiates throughout and it's always a warm fuzzy feeling to return to it.
#29 "Digital Exploration of Interior Design" s3e13 Subway student and set up for Pillow/Blanket war Arguably John Goodman's funniest appearance. All parts are working well here to make us laugh and care about the characters. Jeff's subplot is a bit boring, but not enough to detract from the overall enjoyment.
#28 "Modern Espionage" s6e11 Underground paintball Even though they could have never returned to paintball, I'm glad they saved it for near the end of the series run so that it felt nostalgic. I also enjoyed the idea of playing the game in secret, so the whole thing took on an espionage vibe that made it feel fresh.
#27 "Comparative Religion" s1e12 First Christmas episode; Jeff fight An instant classic. As you can tell (and as I've stated) I love the holiday episodes. This being one of the earliest entries, it's grounded in more reality than those that follow. With that, it still provides all the goods, just in a winter-doodle package.
#26 "Beginner Pottery" s1e19 Pottery and boating classes Since it's a show about community college, it makes sense there'd be episodes like this: ones where we focus on the group in separate classes. The boating entry is especially hilarious and allows Yvette Nicole Brown room to show off her acting skills. Oh, and hey, look, it's Tony Hale.
#25 "Digital Estate Planning" s3e20 Video game for Pierce's inheritance Just a genius idea. Executed flawlessly. A great storyline to paint on top of it. Seriously, y'all, great job. This is only number 25?!?
#24 "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design" s2e9 Night School Kevin Corrigan really steals the show, doesn't he? It's fun watching the conspiracy unravel and the Dean really shines in the final scene.
#23 "Mixology Certification" s2e10 Troy's 21st birthday A noticeable tone shift occurs midway through this one and it highlights the ability of the show to get just as 'real' as it can get creatively 'unreal'. Donald Glover showcases his range as well. A poignant episode overall.
#22 "Basic Rocket Science" s2e4 KFC Space Simulator I credit this one with signaling that the show was going to lean into its conceptual motifs and use them as appropriate vehicles to bring a smile to your face time and time again. To call it a classic would be selling it short.
#21 "Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons" s5e10 D&D with Dean and David Cross Hard to revisit this well without coming up short, but this one manages to cement its own unique legacy. This one also proves that having the Dean at your table enhances your experience exponentially. Imagine what the first one would have been like with him there?
#20 "Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps" s3e5 Scary stories [hums Daybreak]
#19 "Cooperative Polygraphy" s5e5 Polygraph for Pierce's wake Reader, did you know that I admire your dedication to read through my entire list? And also sperm.
#18 "Paradigms of Human Memory" s2e21 Clip episode Another genius idea: do a clip episode with clips from events that never 'happened.' This is the show operating entirely in its sweet spot.
#17 "For a Few Paintballs More" s2e24 Season 2 finale; Star Wars paintball The latter half of an incredible finale showcases all the characters having fun playing the game of pretend. Key note on the Annie and Abed watch: hottest kiss in the show.
#16 "A Fistful of Paintballs" s2e23 Western paintball I prefer this one to the Star Wars one, but only by just a little. A fine Annie episode and one the gets real on the Pierce issue in a satisfying and fitting way.
#15 "Introduction to Statistics" s1e7 First Halloween episode You can blame this one for getting me hooked on Community does holidays. And you can blame it for the Troy and Abed pairing that would propel the show onward.
#14 "Pillows and Blankets" s3e14 Pillow/Blanket fort war documentary Do you think Elroy actually does narration work?
#13 "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics" s5e3 Ass Crack Bandit I'm a firm believer that Annie is the ACB. She alone is able to perform all the acts herself. Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments.
#12 "Contemporary American Poultry" s1e21 Chicken finger mafia movie Probably Scorsese's favorite episode of Community. Let me know in the comments, Marty.
#11 "Epidemiology" s2e6 Zombie Halloween party I'll watch this one every October until I die. Bet.
#10 "Curriculum Unavailable" s3e19 Greendale Insane asylum So, I smoke weed, right? And I watched this episode and I'm ashamed to admit but...I fell for it. I said aloud, "this explains everything." I thought (and still do) that it was great fucking twist. So, it sneaks in the top ten even though most will argue it's mid-tier at best.
#9 "Documentary Filmmaking: Redux" s3e8 Dean makes Greendale commercial documentary God bless Luis Guzmán. That is all.
#8 "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" s2e11 Claymation Christmas It's so satisfying to watch Clay-Abed jump on all those cars at the beginning. And I watched a lot of these types of movies as a kid so it's the most distilled Christmas essence that show could offer me. Appreciate it.
#7 "Cooperative Calligraphy" s2e8 Bottle episode Man, do I love a bottle episode. I also just saw the monkey steal the pen for the first time last viewing. Pretty freakin' cool if you ask me.
#6 "Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television" s6e13 Series finale One final conceptual episode to go out on: pitch me your season 7. It's brilliant, touching, and satisfying. Trust me, it'll keep you coming back just to get that impact after watching all 110 episodes.
#5 "Critical Film Studies" s2e19 My Dinner with Abed; Pulp Fiction surprise party I only wish this episode were two separate episodes so I could enjoy it that much more. A wonderful meshing of ideas and Danny Pudi's best performance.
#4 "Basic Lupine Urology" s3e17 Law & Order In my childhood home, it was commonplace to hear the Law & Order theme song at all hours of the day/night. To say this episode affected me in a profound way would not be doing the impact justice. It's fucking beautiful.
#3 "Modern Warfare" s1e23 First paintball First and best. This episode probably gave the creators all the credit they needed to get the rest of the series done, whether that was at NBC or with Yahoo! (or Netflix in the future?). I'm just in awe every time that I watch it. Feels like it's always existed; hard to imagine someone conceived of the idea.
#2 "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons" s2e14 D&D with Fat Neil I'm glad I own the DVDs so that I can revisit one of my favorites any time I get the itch to do so. Pity that Chang's portrayal of a drow is misperceived to be something other than agreeing exactly with those who find issue with it. As an avid D&D player, this would had to be near the top of the ranking.
#1 "Remedial Chaos Theory" s3e3 Different timelines; Troy & Abed's housewarming Surprising no one: this is the best episode of Community. I think most of the Community-Community will agree with me, but if you don't, you best come prepared because I just did a whole list and will do more so yeah pretty official wouldn't ya say?
Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed it.
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